Writing an obituary for someone you love is one of the most meaningful—and challenging—tasks you may face during a difficult time. Whether you're honoring a parent, spouse, sibling, or friend, the pressure to capture their life in words can feel overwhelming.
This guide breaks down the process into simple, manageable steps. You'll find templates you can follow, examples to inspire you, and practical tips to help you create a tribute that truly honors your loved one. No writing experience required—just your memories and this guide.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written notice that announces someone's death and provides a summary of their life. It serves three main purposes:
- To inform — Notifies the community that someone has died
- To celebrate — Shares the story of who they were and what they meant to others
- To invite — Provides details about funeral or memorial services
Obituary vs. Death Notice: A death notice is a brief, factual announcement (name, age, date of death, service details). An obituary is longer and includes biographical information, personality, achievements, and family details. Many families publish both—a short death notice in the newspaper and a fuller obituary online.
Obituaries are typically written by family members, though funeral homes can help if needed. The best time to write is as soon as possible after the death, since newspapers have deadlines and family wants to inform friends quickly.
Essential Information to Include
Before you start writing, gather these key details. Having everything in one place makes the writing process much easier.
Basic Details
- Full legal name (including maiden name for married women)
- Nickname if commonly used (in quotation marks)
- Age at the time of death
- Date of death
- City and state of residence
Life Summary
- Birth date and birthplace
- Parents' names (including mother's maiden name)
- Education — schools, degrees, notable achievements
- Career — occupation, employer, years of service, accomplishments
- Military service — branch, rank, years served, honors (if applicable)
Family Information
- Surviving family members: spouse, children (and spouses), grandchildren, great-grandchildren, siblings
- Predeceased family members: those who died before them
Tip: The traditional order for listing survivors is: spouse, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, parents (if living), siblings. Check with family members to ensure no one is accidentally omitted.
Personal Touches
- Hobbies and interests — What did they love to do?
- Volunteer work and community involvement
- Religious or spiritual affiliations
- Personality traits — What will people remember most about them?
- Favorite sayings or quotes
Service Details
- Visitation/viewing — date, time, location
- Funeral or memorial service — date, time, location
- Burial or cremation details (if sharing publicly)
- "In lieu of flowers" — specific charity name and how to donate
Photo
A photo brings the obituary to life. Choose one that captures their personality—it doesn't have to be recent. Many families use a photo from when the person was healthiest and happiest, even if it's from years ago.
5-Step Process to Write an Obituary
Step 1: Gather Information
Don't try to write yet—just collect. Use the checklist above and gather:
- Important dates (birth, marriage, graduation, retirement)
- Names and relationships of family members
- Career history and achievements
- Stories and memories from family and friends
- Photos you might want to include
Talk to other family members. They may remember details you've forgotten or have stories you haven't heard. Check documents like resumes, social media profiles, or old letters for dates and details.
Step 2: Choose Your Tone
The tone should match the person you're honoring. Ask yourself: How would they want to be remembered?
- Formal and traditional — Respectful, dignified language. Best for private individuals who preferred convention.
- Warm and celebratory — Focuses on joy and personality. Best for those who embraced life fully.
- Religious or spiritual — Incorporates faith and hope. Best for those whose faith was central to their identity.
- Casual and personal — Reads like a conversation. Best for those who never stood on ceremony.
Consider your audience too. If the obituary will be in a local newspaper, readers may include acquaintances and coworkers, not just close family.
Step 3: Structure the Obituary
Most obituaries follow this structure:
- Opening announcement — Name, age, residence, date of death, and how (peacefully, surrounded by family, after a long illness, etc.)
- Birth and early life — When and where born, parents' names, childhood highlights
- Education and career — Schools, degrees, jobs, achievements
- Marriage and family — Spouse, wedding date, children
- Interests and personality — What made them unique
- Surviving family members — Listed in order
- Predeceased family members
- Service details — When, where, and any special requests
You don't have to follow this exactly—some families prefer a thematic approach that organizes the obituary around what mattered most to the person (their work, their family, their faith, their hobbies).
Step 4: Add Personal Touches
This is what transforms a list of facts into a meaningful tribute. Include:
- A favorite saying or joke they were known for
- A brief story that captures who they were
- What they'll be remembered for — their laugh, their generosity, their cooking, their advice
- Their impact on others — how they made people feel
You don't need many of these—one or two well-chosen details are more powerful than a long list.
Step 5: Review and Proofread
Before publishing, double-check everything:
- Names — Spelling of all names, especially unusual ones
- Dates — Birth date, death date, service dates and times
- Locations — Addresses for services, city and state names
- Family — Have you included everyone? (Ask multiple family members)
Read the obituary aloud to catch awkward phrasing. Have at least two other people review it before publishing. If submitting to a newspaper, check their word limits and formatting requirements.
Obituary Templates
Use these templates as starting points. Replace the bracketed sections with your own information.
Template 1: Short Obituary (100-150 words)
Best for: newspaper death notices, tight budgets, simple announcements
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], died [peacefully/suddenly/after a brief illness] on [Date of Death].
[He/She] was born on [Birth Date] in [Birthplace] to [Parents' Names].
[He/She] is survived by [his/her] [spouse, Name]; [children, Name and Name]; [number] grandchildren; and [siblings, Name and Name]. [He/She] was preceded in death by [relationship and name].
A [funeral service/memorial service/celebration of life] will be held on [Date] at [Time] at [Location, Address]. [Optional: Visitation will be held from Time to Time at Location.]
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to [Charity Name] at [website or address].
Template 2: Standard Obituary (250-350 words)
Best for: most situations, online obituaries, funeral programs
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully/unexpectedly/after a courageous battle with illness] on [Date of Death], [at home/at Hospital Name/surrounded by family].
Born on [Birth Date] in [Birthplace], [he/she] was the [son/daughter] of [Father's Name] and [Mother's Name (Maiden Name)]. [He/She] grew up in [City] and graduated from [High School Name] in [Year]. [He/She] went on to [attend College Name, earning a degree in Field / begin a career in Industry].
[First Name] worked for [number] years as a [Job Title] at [Company Name], where [he/she] [notable achievement or characteristic]. [He/She] retired in [Year].
On [Wedding Date], [he/she] married [Spouse's Full Name] in [City]. Together they raised [number] children and celebrated [number] years of marriage.
[First Name] loved [hobbies/interests—e.g., fishing, gardening, reading, spending time with grandchildren]. [He/She] was known for [personality trait or characteristic—e.g., his infectious laugh, her warm hospitality, his dedication to family]. [Optional: Brief story or memorable detail.]
[He/She] was a member of [Church/Organization Name] and volunteered with [Organization].
[First Name] is survived by [his/her] [spouse of X years, Name]; children, [Name (Spouse)] of [City], [Name (Spouse)] of [City]; [number] grandchildren; and [siblings, Name of City]. [He/She] was preceded in death by [parents' names], [and any other predeceased relatives].
A [funeral mass/memorial service/celebration of life] will be held on [Day, Date] at [Time] at [Location, Full Address]. Visitation will take place [Day, Date] from [Time] to [Time] at [Location].
In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations to [Charity Name, Website/Address].
Template 3: Extended Obituary (500+ words)
Best for: detailed life tributes, online memorials, celebration of life services
[Full Name], [age], of [City, State], passed away [peacefully/unexpectedly] on [Date of Death], [surrounded by family/at home/at facility]. [He/She] lived a life filled with [love/adventure/faith/service to others/dedication to family].
Early Life
[First Name] was born on [Birth Date] in [Birthplace] to [Father's Full Name] and [Mother's Full Name (Maiden Name)]. [He/She] [grew up in City / moved to City at age X] where [he/she] [detail about childhood]. [He/She] attended [School Name] and [memorable school detail or achievement].
Education and Career
After graduating from [High School] in [Year], [First Name] [attended College / entered the workforce / joined the military]. [He/She] earned [degree] from [University] in [Year]. [His/Her] career [spanned X years in industry / took him/her to various companies and cities]. At [Company Name], [he/she] [achievement or notable role]. [He/She] retired in [Year] after [X] years of dedicated service.
Marriage and Family
[First Name] met [Spouse's Name] [how they met—e.g., at a church social, through mutual friends, at work]. They married on [Date] in [Location] and [built a life together in City / raised their family in City]. Together they [traveled, built a home, raised children, weathered life's challenges]. Their marriage of [X] years was marked by [love, partnership, devotion, adventure].
What [He/She] Loved
[First Name] found joy in [list 3-4 hobbies or interests with detail—e.g., "tending his vegetable garden, where he spent countless summer mornings," "cheering on the Cubs from his favorite armchair," "hosting holiday dinners for the whole family"]. [He/She] had a gift for [skill or trait—e.g., making everyone feel welcome, telling stories that had the whole room laughing, fixing anything that was broken].
Faith and Community
A lifelong member of [Church/Organization], [First Name] [served as / volunteered with / participated in]. [He/She] believed deeply in [value or cause] and demonstrated that belief through [action or example].
How [He/She] Will Be Remembered
Those who knew [First Name] will remember [his/her] [trait—e.g., warm smile, hearty laugh, generous spirit, quiet strength]. [He/She] [brief story or quote that captures their essence—e.g., "never let anyone leave the house hungry," "could fix anything with duct tape and determination," "always had time for a cup of coffee and a conversation"].
Surviving Family
[First Name] is survived by [his/her] loving [spouse, Name]; children, [Name (Spouse Name)] of [City], [Name (Spouse Name)] of [City]; grandchildren, [Names]; great-grandchildren, [Names]; [siblings], [Name] of [City]; as well as many beloved nieces, nephews, and friends.
[He/She] was preceded in death by [his/her] parents; [and list others with relationships].
Services
A [funeral mass/memorial service/celebration of life] will be held on [Day, Date] at [Time] at [Location Name, Full Address]. [Pastor/Father/Reverend Name] will officiate.
Visitation will take place on [Day, Date] from [Time] to [Time] at [Location].
[Burial/Interment] will follow at [Cemetery Name, City].
Memorial Contributions
In lieu of flowers, the family kindly requests donations to [Charity Name], [Address or Website], in [First Name]'s memory.
[Optional closing quote or sentiment]
"[Favorite saying, Bible verse, or meaningful quote]"
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Obituary Examples by Style
These examples show different approaches you can take. Choose the style that best fits your loved one's personality.
Example 1: Classic/Traditional
Formal tone, chronological structure. Appropriate for traditional families and religious services.
Margaret Anne Thompson, 78, of Springfield, Illinois, passed away peacefully on January 15, 2026, at Memorial Medical Center, surrounded by her loving family.
Born March 12, 1947, in Chicago, Illinois, she was the daughter of Robert and Helen (Walsh) Johnson. Margaret graduated from Springfield High School in 1965 and received her nursing degree from St. John's College of Nursing in 1968.
She dedicated 35 years to caring for others as a registered nurse at St. John's Hospital, retiring in 2003. Her compassion and skill touched countless patients and families.
On June 8, 1969, she married William "Bill" Thompson at Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception. They shared 54 years of marriage.
Margaret was a devoted member of Blessed Sacrament Parish, where she volunteered with the Ladies Auxiliary and taught religious education for 20 years.
She is survived by her husband, William; children, Michael (Susan) Thompson of Chicago, Jennifer (Mark) Davis of Springfield, and David Thompson of St. Louis; seven grandchildren; two great-grandchildren; and her sister, Patricia Miller of Springfield.
She was preceded in death by her parents and her brother, James Johnson.
Visitation will be Friday, January 19, from 4:00 to 7:00 p.m. at Butler Funeral Home. A funeral mass will be celebrated Saturday, January 20, at 10:00 a.m. at Blessed Sacrament Church, with burial to follow at Camp Butler National Cemetery.
Memorial contributions may be made to the American Cancer Society or Blessed Sacrament Parish.
Example 2: Celebration of Life
Warm, personality-focused. Appropriate for those who preferred joy over formality.
Robert "Bobby" James Martinez — father, grandfather, storyteller, and the life of every party — left this world on January 10, 2026, at the age of 72. He went out the way he lived: on his own terms, with a joke ready and his family by his side.
Bobby was born August 5, 1953, in San Antonio, Texas, the youngest of five kids who quickly learned he had to be funny to survive. That gift for making people laugh stayed with him his entire life.
He met the love of his life, Rosa, at a church dance in 1974. "She was the prettiest girl there," he'd say, "and I was the most persistent." They married in 1976 and spent 49 years proving that love, laughter, and occasional stubbornness make a great foundation for marriage.
Bobby worked as a mechanic for 40 years, retiring from Garcia Auto in 2018. He could diagnose a problem by sound alone and firmly believed that duct tape and WD-40 could fix almost anything.
He loved fishing (catching was optional), grilling carne asada for anyone who stopped by, and spoiling his grandchildren with ice cream and stories. He coached Little League for 15 years and never missed a grandchild's game, recital, or graduation.
Bobby is survived by his wife Rosa; his children, Michael (Anna), Maria (John) Patterson, and Carlos (Jenny); eight grandchildren who called him "Papa"; his sisters Elena and Carmen; and more friends than we could possibly count.
Join us for a celebration of Bobby's life on Saturday, January 18, at 2:00 p.m. at St. Anthony's Parish Hall. Come hungry—he would have wanted it that way.
In lieu of flowers, buy someone you love a good meal, or donate to the Boys & Girls Club of San Antonio.
Example 3: Faith-Centered
Religious language and hope. Appropriate for those whose faith was central to their identity.
Eleanor Grace Williams, 85, was welcomed into the arms of her Lord and Savior on January 12, 2026. Her family rejoices that she is now free from pain and reunited with those who went before her.
Eleanor was born November 3, 1940, in Nashville, Tennessee, to Thomas and Mary (Evans) Porter. She accepted Christ at age 12 and spent the rest of her life in faithful service to Him.
She married Harold Williams on April 15, 1962, and together they served as missionaries in Guatemala for 15 years before returning to Tennessee in 1982. Harold preceded her in death in 2019.
Eleanor taught Sunday School for 45 years, led women's Bible studies, and mentored countless young believers. Her well-worn Bible and prayer journals are treasured by her family as testaments to a life of faith.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13) was her life verse, and she proved it true through every challenge.
She is survived by her children, James (Ruth) Williams, Mary (Daniel) Cooper, and Grace (Thomas) Reed; 11 grandchildren; 8 great-grandchildren; and her sister, Dorothy Moore.
A celebration of Eleanor's homegoing will be held Saturday, January 17, at 11:00 a.m. at First Baptist Church of Nashville. The family will receive friends Friday evening from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. at the church.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Guatemala Mission Partners or First Baptist Church Building Fund.
"Well done, good and faithful servant." — Matthew 25:21
Example 4: Brief/Newspaper Style
Concise, essential information. Appropriate for newspaper publication and simple announcements.
Johnson, William H., 81, of Portland, Oregon, died January 14, 2026. Born in Portland to Henry and Martha Johnson. Retired electrician, U.S. Navy veteran. Married to Carol (née Baker) for 55 years. Survived by wife Carol; sons David (Marie) and Thomas (Susan); daughter Elizabeth Walker; 6 grandchildren; sister Ruth Anderson. Services: Saturday, January 20, 2:00 p.m., Rose City Cemetery Chapel. Donations to Portland VA Medical Center.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Not proofreading names and dates — Misspelled names or wrong dates are painful for families and embarrassing once published. Triple-check everything.
- Being too generic — "He was a loving father" could describe anyone. Include specific details that made your loved one unique.
- Forgetting service information — Or worse, publishing incorrect times or locations. Verify with the funeral home before submitting.
- Leaving out family members — Ask multiple relatives to review the survivors list. Someone is always accidentally forgotten.
- Waiting too long — Newspapers have deadlines (often 24-48 hours before publication). Submit early to allow time for corrections.
- Making it too long for the publication — Newspaper obituaries are expensive per line. Know the word limits before writing. Use a detailed online obituary for the full story.
- Including information they wouldn't want public — Some details (cause of death, estranged relationships, past troubles) may be better left private.
Where to Publish Your Obituary
You have several options—and many families use more than one.
Newspapers
Traditional choice with local reach. Costs range from $85 for small-town papers to $2,000+ for major metros. Best for reaching local community, older generations, and those who don't use internet. See our complete obituary cost guide.
Online Obituary Platforms
Global reach at a fraction of newspaper costs. Include photos, longer text, and a condolence book where friends and family can share memories. obituary.design offers professionally designed obituaries for $19—shareable worldwide, with a downloadable PDF for printing.
Funeral Home Websites
Most funeral homes post obituaries on their sites at no additional charge. Limited design options but convenient.
Social Media
Facebook and other platforms can spread the word quickly, especially to younger generations. Not a replacement for a formal obituary but a good supplement.
Combination Approach
Many families publish a brief death notice in the local newspaper and a detailed obituary online. This keeps newspaper costs down while still honoring your loved one fully.
Compare online vs. newspaper obituaries to decide what's right for your family.